Civilian spouse vs. Military Spouse

I’d like to thank the Deep Friar for inspiring the following post.

Civilian Spouse:
Oooh, I could never go to a movie alone.
Military Spouse:
If I waited until the military member returned from deployment we’d have to go see “Blood, Guts and Chunks of Hair”. I want to see a nice movie so I’ll go alone and pay for a sitter because I don’t have any family living in the area.

Civilian Spouse:
I could never go to a restaurant alone and just sit and eat there.
Military Spouse:
I’ll go alone! I’m tired of eating my own cooking. OR Since we’re in the middle of a moving AGAIN, we have no food in the house. We have no choice.

Civilian Spouse:
My [spouse] wants to move to a bigger house in the new development across town. I don’t know if I could deal with moving.
Military Spouse:
In 20 years of marriage I’ve moved 8 times, lived in 7 different cities in 4 different provinces.

Civilian Spouse:
We’ve owned this house for 15 years now. We’re thinking of adding a hot tub to the en suite.
Military Spouse:
We’re lucky if we get a house with more than one bathroom.

Civilian Spouse:
I could never drive by myself for 3 hours. It would drive me crazy.
Military Spouse:
Suck it up. If you want to see your family you’ll drive across the country AND BACK in a week. When you’ve figured out how to go pee without waking the kids and taking them out of the car seats and into a slimy gas station bathroom, let me know.

Civilian Spouse:
Grandma & Grandpa look after the kids every weekend.
Military Spouse:
Our kids haven’t seen their grandparents in two years.

Civilian Spouse:
I’ve been at the same job for 15 years now. I’ll be here until I retire with a big benefit package.
Military Spouse:
I’ve been at the same job for 15 months now. I’ll be quitting next month because we’re moving and will not be eligible for any benefits.

Civilian Spouse:
Oh, that (insert spouse’s name here) NEVER helps out with the housework!
Military Spouse:
At least (insert spouse’s name here) is home and not deployed in a war zone.

Civilian Spouse:
Boo hoo! My (insert spouse here) is traveling on business. The house is so quiet. I’m so lonely.
Military Spouse:
At least (insert spouse here) isn’t deployed in a war zone for the next six months.

Civilian Spouse:
Boo hoo. My (insert spouse here) is traveling on business. I haven’t had sex in over a week.
Military Spouse:
At least (insert spouse here) isn’t deployed in a war zone for the next six months.